Verbal abuses.. Much too common these days

 

Beware always of men and women, bullies, tormentors, control freaks,  persons, civil and public servants,  politicians, pastors, leaders, elders, who falsely do, will try to enslave you, oppress you, exploit you
Is 51:23 ..your tormentors {and} oppressors, those who said to you, Bow down, that we may ride {or} tread over you; and you have made your back like the ground and like the street for them to pass over.

(Prov 21:9 KJV)  It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.

Bullies, abusers, liars, slanderers tend to be clearly immoral persons who try to enslave others uancceptably even if they profess to be Christian or what ever,,

>>My ex-husband smokes pot and drinks a lot, and I am told, so does his girlfriend. He once told me that I am too righteous because I don’t drink or do drugs, and I attend church.

and that was a verbal abuse if I have ever seen one..

so do thank God daily that he has now removed your from this  abusive relationship..

and do ask Him, God  to take all the tears away and he will.

(Psa 4:8 KJV)  I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety.

(Rev 21:4 KJV)  And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

and there still can be a good life after divorce with God’s help…

Truly any type of abuse is unacceptable and anywhere too

and exposing it loudly in public as well as calling the police is the best way to deal with it for everyone’s benefit, the abuser included.

God himself clearly does not accept verbal, physical, or human rights abuses

(Mat 18:6 KJV) But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.

(Mat 18:7 KJV) Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!

(Mat 18:8 KJV) Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire.

No we ALL cannot STOP, take the ostrich approach under the guise of love to the definite bad acts of others, we as Christians are still called to be fruit inspectors of those who profess to be Christians ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY RARELY QUOTE IT in actual context OR LIVE THE BIBLE THEY CLAIM THEY BELIEVE IN-

(Gen 31:42 KJV) Except the God of my father, the God of Abraham, and the fear of Isaac, had been with me, surely thou hadst sent me away now empty. God hath seen mine affliction and the labour of my hands, and rebuked thee yesternight.

(Lev 19:17 KJV) Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart: thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbour, and not suffer sin upon him.

(Neh 5:7 KJV) Then I consulted with myself, and I rebuked the nobles, and the rulers, and said unto them, Ye exact usury, every one of his brother. And I set a great assembly against them.

(Psa 119:21 KJV) Thou hast rebuked the proud that are cursed, which do err from thy commandments.

(Prov 24:25 KJV) But to them that rebuke him shall be delight, and a good blessing shall come upon them.

(Prov 27:5 KJV) Open rebuke is better than secret love.

(Eccl 7:5 KJV) It is better to hear the rebuke of the wise, than for a man to hear the song of fools.

(Mat 17:18 KJV) And Jesus rebuked the devil; and he departed out of him: and the child was cured from that very hour.

(Mark 1:25 KJV) And Jesus rebuked him, saying, Hold thy peace, and come out of him.

(Mark 4:39 KJV) And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.

(Mark 8:33 KJV) But when he had turned about and looked on his disciples, he rebuked Peter, saying, Get thee behind me, Satan: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but the things that be of men.

(1 Tim 5:20 KJV) Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear.

(2 Tim 4:2 KJV) Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.

(Titus 1:13 KJV) This witness is true. Wherefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith;

(Titus 2:15 KJV) These things speak, and exhort, and rebuke with all authority. Let no man despise thee.

(Heb 12:5 KJV) And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:

(Rev 3:19 KJV) As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.

“This is from the book by Patricia Evans http://andthenshecried.wordpress.com/2008/02/05/the-verbally-abusive-relationship-how-to-recognize-it-and-how-to-respond

Verbal abuse is a kind of battering which doesn’t leave evidence like physical abuse does. However, it can be just as painful, and recovery can take much longer. The victim of abuse lives in a gradually more confusing realm. In public she is with one man, in private he becomes another. Often, for the verbally abused woman (man), there is no witness to her reality and no one to understand her experiences. Friends and family continue to see her ex, the abuser, as a really good guy and, certainly, he agrees with them. The verbal abuser, while maintaining his charm with others, always takes his abuse behind closed doors. It is a means of holding power over his wife( husband) /partner.. Many women and some men leave a marriage and come back into the singles’ world with the diminished self-esteem that comes from a verbally abusive relationship. The fact that many of these women (men) have never even realized that they were being abused, makes it easy for them to enter another abusive relationship. A verbal abuser is an insecure person and immature person who is looking for power and control over another.In order to help you recognize abuse, remember that all forms of verbal abuse are methods of manipulating you for the purpose of establishing power over you. The following are some of the forms of verbal abuse the author helps you recognize.

  1. Withholding: a purposeful, silent treatment.
  2. Countering: a countering of your ideas, feelings, and perceptions, even going so far as to refute what he misconstrues you to have said.
  3. Discounting–a putdown of you or something you hold dear.
  4. Blocking and diverting–this is a sneaky, covert way of violating your dignity.
  5. Accusation and blame: generally involves lies about the partner’s intentions, attitudes, and motives. The author states that accusation and blame is present in all verbally abusive relationships.
  6. Judging and criticizing: lies about your personal qualities and performance.
  7. Trivializing and undermining: abusive behavior which makes light of your work, your efforts, your interests, or your concerns. The abuser attempts to dilute meaning and value in your life. Undermining might occur when your partner laughs at you, for example, when you burn yourself cooking. It is also jokes at your expense. Undermining is occurring when you feel a “so-called joke” is mean rather than funny.
  8. Name calling: no one has a right to call you degrading names. Name calling is verbal abuse.
  9. Ordering: Telling you to do something, rather than asking, or making decisions for you or for the two of you without your input.
  10. Forgetting and denial: the trickiest form of denial is forgetting. Become aware that forgetting is a form of denial that shifts all responsibility from the abuser to some “weakness of mind.”
  11. Abusive anger: this seems to be closely linked to the need to “blow up,” to dominate, to control, to go one up, and to put down. Any time you are snapped at or yelled at, you are being abused.
Threatening: Physical threats and sexual threats aside, verbal threats are an effort at manipulation. For example, a threat to leave, stay out all night, or take you home immediately is a manipulation for power. The threat of “pending disaster” is designed to shatter the partner’s serenity as well as her boundaries.

If you counter the abuser or attempt to explain yourself, you will probably be met with such statements as, “I don’t want to hear it, get out of my face” or “Woman you don’t have the brains“, “BYou shouldn’t have said that to me“.

If you are in a brand-new relationship and see warning signs of verbal abuse, the author suggests you might be wise to let the relationship go. It is not likely that a man (woman) who needs to dominate and control will change easily, if at all. It is also likely that when the newness of the relationship wears off, he will become more abusive. Verbal abuse can become physical in time and physical abuse is always preceded by verbal abuse, according to Evans.If you are in a long-term relationship, you can respond to the abuser as the book suggests and soon discover for yourself whether or not your mate is willing to change and stop his abusive behavior.

“If you have been verbally abused in your relationship, you may have discovered that explaining and trying to understand have not improved your relationship. Therefore, I recommend that you respond in a new way–a way that will make an emotional, psychological, and intellectual impact upon your mate.”

The abuser in your relationship may change when he finds that you do know when you are being abused, that you have set limits, that you mean what you say, and that you will not take behavior you don’t like.

If the man ( or sadly too often now a women) in your relationship remains abusive, it is not only not your fault,” it is  your responsibility to deal with it, make it public, call the police too.

Any person cannot still fight with you of you leave his or her presences, even forever.. and there is still a good life after a failed marriage now too. I practise what I preach and often now too.

The first spouse, love seems  is always the best one in our false pride.. and I know what that is like too.. WE SEEM ALL TO REPEAT OUR BAD TASTE, VALUES.. When they let a person out a prison they generally have a rule not to let them return to his old environment, past home, for five years.. otherwise they will be under the same old bad habits, dispositions too..

NOTE I lost once everything I had owned.. still next I replaced it all with the same things, even though I never used most of them, old habits and bad tastes DO die hard still too for almost all of us..

Now still reporting publically the abusers, and calling the POLICE TOO most often solves the abuse problem the best.. for if the evil persons do not feel real negative personal consequences, REAL negative public exposures, they really have no reasons to change their bad habits next and likely then never will.

I rightfully too tend to openly expose all abusers, all bad people, all bad churches, all bad politicians, all bad corporations that I come across, and  often and I  also do do call the police, regulating authorities  often and demand they all be fired,   be put in jail too.

I was also still surprised how popular this post now is too.

http://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/

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Equality & Liberty

 While today even by the existing laws and really after a long struggle physical slavery has been abolished world wide, even in the US, Canada, Great Britain as well now,  

  
Beware always of men and women, bullies, tormentors, control freaks,  persons, civil and public servants,  politicians, pastors, leaders, elders, who falsely do, will try to enslave you, oppress you, exploit you even while they claim they are proclaiming the truth, democracy, trying to help you, etc.,
 
Is 51:23 ..your tormentors {and} oppressors, those who said to you, Bow down, that we may ride {or} tread over you; and you have made your back like the ground and like the street for them to pass over.

 

 
I still cannot help but notice that a certain segment of every society, bad self-righteous  persons who to compensate for their poor self image, poor self worth, or even an over inflated ego, self worth they in a sinful pride too they do  try to put others under their sinful bondage, even to still wrongfully deny their human rights and their equal rights of free speech,  to equally express themselves, to be equally heard too.
 
 The Exodus account describes the condition of Israel, which God saw and knew, and out of which Israel cried to God, because of their  bondage – enslavement – slavery AND YET ONE CANNOT BUT NOTICE HOW THEY WERE ALSO NEXT SO READY TO ENSLAVE THEIR FELLOW BROTHERS AND GOD WAS REALLY UPSET AT THIS.
 
Leviticus,  25:39 If your brother becomes impoverished with regard to you so that he sells himself to you, you must not subject him to slave service. 25:40 He must be with you as a hired worker, as a resident foreigner; he must serve with you until the year of jubilee, 25:41 but then he may go free, he and his children with him, and may return to his family and to the property of his ancestors. 25:42 Since they are my servants whom I brought out from the land of Egypt, they must not be sold in a slave sale. 25:43 You must not rule over him harshly, but you must fear your God.
 
 I have always wondered besides Satan himself as to the original source of this perverse, degenerated  human domination attitude, unacceptable abuse, approach. This enslavement attempt occurs too often now too now even not just in the  despotic churches, despotic governments, despotic police, in the civil and public services, but it is carried out even by so  so called professionals in corporations, schools, universities too where these control freaks, bullies, slave drivers  do want to dominate falsely their wills and desires upon others.
 
But I know clearly that the solution to this approach is public exposure of the abusers in a very loud voice so everyone can hear about it too. For God himself still does not accept these abuses for sure. 
  
(Rom 8:15 KJV)  For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.
 
“The only notable difference between aberrant Christian churches and these cultic counterparts is in their relative doctrinal and practical orthodoxy: their statements of faith and stated practical commitments may see quite mainstream, even Evangelical in nature. ”
  
If we are honest with ourselves, we might admit that such authoritarianism  abuses even may exist in  our own backyards.
 
Sometimes this false domination attempt is subtle and other time it is blatant. 
 
Sadly   however, there have been been some professing Christian  pastors who clearly have lost their marbles and are pursing this unacceptable domination, dictatorial approach. I myself have had too often both Baptist and Pentecostal, evangelical, hypocritical  pastors  wrongfully demand that I submit to their total authority, and for me to do everything they told me to do, and I clearly let them know  loudly, openly rightfully how really now absurd their requests now was .
  
(Deu 28:48 KJV)  Therefore shalt thou serve thine enemies which the LORD shall send against thee, in hunger, and in thirst, and in nakedness, and in want of all things: and he shall put a yoke of iron upon thy neck, until he have destroyed thee.  (Isa 10:27 KJV)  And it shall come to pass in that day, that his burden shall be taken away from off thy shoulder, and his yoke from off thy neck, and the yoke shall be destroyed because of the anointing.  (Jer 28:2 KJV)  Thus speaketh the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel, saying, I have broken the yoke of the king of Babylon  Jer. 30:8-9 ‘For it shall come to pass in that day,’ says the LORD of hosts, ‘That I will break his yoke from your neck, and will burst your bonds; foreigners shall no more enslave them. But they shall serve the LORD their God, and David ( JESUS ) their king, whom I will raise up for them.”
 
A yoke in the OT could mean bondage, enslavement or servitude to another leader other than God.  God breaks the yoke of bondage from the enemy so we can be yoked to him. 
  
In the New Testament the word “yoke” is also used to  DENOTE RATHER VOLUNTARY SUBMISSON,   servitude to Jesus 
 
Mt. 11:28-30 Jesus beckons “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Mat 11:29 KJV)  Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
 
as opposed to – (Acts 15:10 KJV)  Now therefore why tempt ye God, to put a yoke upon the neck of the disciples, which neither our fathers nor we were able to bear?  (Gal 5:1 KJV)  Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.   
 
We as Christians now are set free to do the will of God, not our will, or the will of other men, or to nor go back to our old sinful lifestyle. We are free in and by Jesus. .
 
Outside of Jesus still  is only the false bondage of men and the rule of Satan that captures people to do more sin. So we need all and always to abide in Jesus  to be free from ne and Satan, demons and to be fruitful.

Romans 7:6 – But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code.
   

Let me be clear that all submission in the New Testament is voluntarily, non  enforceable, and reciprocal too. Christ alone is still  the sole head of the church, and not any man!!

Who is in control?  When push came to shove for control  it is a definitely a dictatorial authoritarian and lawless ideology approach that has truly wrongfully dominated many one man Church  ministries, persons who are  a  bunch of really unelected, corrupt and dictatorial despots still too or just more of the latest control freaks and their  mad ravings  now too!
  
An authoritarian push is often projected too as coming from above, forced on the unsuspecting Church adherents, guests by the much too ready would-be immoral autocrats. 
 
No doubt about it the  institutionalized Stalin  type control destroys the churches.
 
  
MAD, QUITE MAD is what you will be if you give yourself over to the views, advice domination of others. Better learn how to hear God’s voice, and accept his guidance, and be free from the depressors.
   
(Lev 25:10 KJV)  And ye shall hallow the fiftieth year, and proclaim liberty throughout all the land unto all the inhabitants thereof: it shall be a jubilee unto you; and ye shall return every man unto his possession, and ye shall return every man unto his family.(Psa 119:45 KJV)  And I will walk at liberty: for I seek thy precepts.
(Isa 61:1 KJV)  The spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound; (Jer 34:8 KJV)  This is the word that came unto Jeremiah from the LORD, after that the king Zedekiah had made a covenant with all the people which were at Jerusalem, to proclaim liberty unto them;(Jer 34:15 KJV)  And ye were now turned, and had done right in my sight, in proclaiming liberty every man to his neighbour; and ye had made a covenant before me in the house which is called by my name:
(Jer 34:16 KJV)  But ye turned and polluted my name, and caused every man his servant, and every man his handmaid, whom he had set at liberty at their pleasure, to return, and brought them into subjection, to be unto you for servants and for handmaids.

(Jer 34:17 KJV)  Therefore thus saith the LORD; Ye have not hearkened unto me, in proclaiming liberty, every one to his brother, and every man to his neighbour: behold, I proclaim a liberty for you, saith the LORD, to the sword, to the pestilence, and to the famine; and I will make you to be removed into all the kingdoms of the earth.
  

 

Why is today’s church seen as a place of  a Gang of Religious Nuts, and Abusers of Personal Rights and Liberties where an authoritarian  leader disregards other’s rights,  for, all they care about is it seem is more MONEY, MONEY, MONEY. They could care less about individuals and their needs and rights. As long as they and their supporters are able to take  every   cent  donated mad (and more,) they are gleeful. Their real  temple of worship is the  secret bank, money accounts that they and their cronies have stashed away. There only desire is to add to those accounts…  
  
(2 Pet 2:19 KJV)  While they promise them liberty, they themselves are the servants of corruption: for of whom a man is overcome, of the same is he brought in bondage.
 
(John 8:32 KJV)  And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
 
(John 8:36 KJV)  If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.
 
(Rom 6:18 KJV)  Being then made free from sin, ye became the servants of righteousness.
 
(Rom 6:22 KJV)  But now being made free from sin, and become servants to God, ye have your fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life.
 
(Rom 7:3 KJV)  So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
 
(Rom 8:2 KJV)  For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.
 
(1 Cor 9:1 KJV)   am I not free?
 
(1 Cor 9:19 KJV)  For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more.
 
(Gal 3:28 KJV)  There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
 
(Gal 4:26 KJV)  But Jerusalem which is above is free, which is the mother of us all.
 
(Gal 4:31 KJV)  So then, brethren, we are not children of the bondwoman, but of the free.
 
(Gal 5:1 KJV)  Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.
 
(Col 3:11 KJV)  Where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, Barbarian, Scythian, bond nor free: but Christ is all, and in all.
 
(1 Pet 2:16 KJV)  As free, and not using your liberty for a cloak of maliciousness, but as the servants of God.
 
(2 Cor 3:17 KJV)  Now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.
 
(Gal 2:4 KJV)  And that because of false brethren unawares brought in, who came in privily to spy out our liberty which we have in Christ Jesus, that they might bring us into bondage:
 
(Gal 5:1 KJV)  Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.
 
(Gal 5:13 KJV)  For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.
 
(James 1:25 KJV)  But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed.
 
While today even by the laws after a long struggle physical slavery has been abolished world wide, in the US, Canada, Great Britain as well now,  I still cannot help but notice that a certain segment of every society, bad self-righteous  persons who do  try to put others under their sinful bondage, even to still wrongfully deny their human rights and equal rights of free speech,  to equally express themselves, to be equally heard too and I have always wondered besides Satan himself as to the original source of this perverse domination attitude, unacceptable abuse, approach. This enslavement attempt occurs too often now too not just in the  despotic churches, despotic governments, despotic police, civil an public services, but is carried out even by so  so called professionals in corporations, schools, universities too where control freaks, bullies, slave drivers  do want to dominate falsely their wills and desires upon others. But I know clearly that the solution to this approach is public exposure of the abusers in a very loud voice so everyone can gear about it too. For God himself still does not accept these abuses for sure.  “The only notable difference between aberrant Christian churches and these cultic counterparts is in their relative doctrinal and practical orthodoxy: their statements of faith and stated practical commitments may see quite mainstream, even Evangelical in nature. ” If we are honest with ourselves, we might admit that such authoritarianism  abuses even may exist in  our own backyards.
 
Sometimes this false domination attempt is subtle and other time it is blatant.  Sadly   however, there have been been some professing Christian  pastors who clearly have lost their marbles and are pursing this unacceptable domination, dictatorial approach. I myself have had too often both Baptist and Pentecostal, evangelical hypocritical  pastors  wrongfully demand that I submit to their total authority, and for me to do everything they told me to do, and I clearly let them know  loudly, openly rightfully how really now absurd their requests now was . Let me be clear that all submission in the New Testament is voluntarily, none enforceable, and reciprocal too. Christ alone is still  the sole head of the church, and not any man!!
 
(2 Pet 2:19 KJV)  While they promise them liberty, they themselves are the servants of corruption: for of whom a man is overcome, of the same is he brought in bondage.
 
(John 8:32 KJV)  And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
 
(John 8:36 KJV)  If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.
 
(Rom 6:18 KJV)  Being then made free from sin, ye became the servants of righteousness.
 
(Rom 6:22 KJV)  But now being made free from sin, and become servants to God, ye have your fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life.
 
(Rom 7:3 KJV)  So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.
 
(Rom 8:2 KJV)  For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.
 
(1 Cor 9:1 KJV)   am I not free?
 
(1 Cor 9:19 KJV)  For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more.
 
(Gal 3:28 KJV)  There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
 
(Gal 4:26 KJV)  But Jerusalem which is above is free, which is the mother of us all.
 
(Gal 4:31 KJV)  So then, brethren, we are not children of the bondwoman, but of the free.
 
(Gal 5:1 KJV)  Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.
 
(Col 3:11 KJV)  Where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, Barbarian, Scythian, bond nor free: but Christ is all, and in all.
 
(1 Pet 2:16 KJV)  As free, and not using your liberty for a cloak of maliciousness, but as the servants of God.
 
(2 Cor 3:17 KJV)  Now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.
 
(Gal 2:4 KJV)  And that because of false brethren unawares brought in, who came in privily to spy out our liberty which we have in Christ Jesus, that they might bring us into bondage:
 
(Gal 5:1 KJV)  Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.
 
(Gal 5:13 KJV)  For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.
 
(James 1:25 KJV)  But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed.
 
 
see also