Can a person change?

Now can a Person change themselves?  Is there hope for anyone?
 
Some people say that recognition of the problems, obstacles is basically 90 percent of the solution, and I really do also wish that next was true..
 
Now we all seem to meet all type  of persons in real life, the control freaks, verbal and human right abusers, Bullies, enslavers, liars, cheaters, imposters, pretenders, con artists too.  And we often simply do wonder why they do not change..
 
Here also is what I know for sure, the older the person is the more extreme, more severe, the more difficult the punishment has  to be on them to cause them to personally to change in their own  negative ways, for they are too set in them now too.   
   
Beware though — still today most bad persons resist changing, and do  employ false denial techniques of their wrongs, deny wrongfully their own need to change and next even build even more walls between them and others. You can see this bad approach used by  alcoholics now as well most of the time..
  
Being nice. kind, friendly  to a really bad person  is still also a complete waste of time, for they will not change their negative behaviors on their own, they see   no reasons to do so now still too. Sad but true. We cannot never control a bad person, a drug addict or an alcoholic, but we can learn all about it and learn firstly to control our own behavior, appropriate responses –including how we should behave in the relationship with the  sick and suffering and /or possibly manipulative addict or alcoholic, abuser.. 

 
In fact it is next impossible for anyone to try to to change others. I have seen many marriage fail cause the wife was naïve to believe she could change her husband instead of accepting him for who, what he was at the time of marriage. After all it is easier to change oneself than others too but wrongfully most people try to change others and not themselves. If it was supposedly easy to change anyone then we would not need prisons for the too often now habitually criminals in reality.
 
In reality also now whether you are talking now about a parent, a relative,  a spouse, criminals, alcoholics, drug addicts to what ever no one basically can be helped firstly who refused to admit they need help, and next also refuses thus next any help to change now as well.
 
And in truth the only people I have ever seen who manifested any  lasting, real changes were these people changed by God, who had next became born again, and to be fully truthful here too next half of them even got worse again next, a dog who returned to their vomit, they denied next the DENIED THE SAME FAITH THEY BELIEVED IN TOO.
 
The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous rightfully says that only God can next heal, relieve the sin, the illness of addiction. It requires the addictive person to first confess they have sinned and next ask for God’s forgiveness, help. 
 
Too many a persons also do falsely deny who they really are, hiding behind prestigious or pretentious facade that they are unknown, cannot be discerned, read, known cause they are too complex.. you can fool some of the people some of the time, most of the people most of the time but not all of the people all of the time..
 
Jesus himself said a person can be known simply by what they do. good people do good things.. and bad people tend to do bad things. 
 
(Mat 7:18 KJV)  A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.
 
(Mat 7:19 KJV)  Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.
 
(Mat 7:20 KJV)  Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.
 
(Mat 7:21 KJV)  Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
 
(Mat 7:22 KJV)  Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
 
(Mat 7:23 KJV)  And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.
 
(Mat 7:24 KJV)  Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock:
 
(Mat 7:25 KJV)  And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.
 
(Mat 7:26 KJV)  And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand:
 
(Mat 7:27 KJV)  And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.  
 
 
Helping others to change for the good is even more difficult today as well
              
  
Reality- Today many Children are also being falsely led to  believe that Gambling, Alcohol and Bad drug use is generally  safe. The average 18 year old has seen 100,000 television commercials encouraging him or her to drink. That’s why 80% of high school seniors have tried alcohol, 32% have gotten drunk in the last thirty days, 43% smoke marijuana, and about one third are smoking cigarettes. Most addicts die of their addiction and they take their family members down with them. The first step in any help program recovery is to get honest with yourself. Get honest even as to what the other person is really like.. Do not let them take you down the drain with them next too.. Control what you watch, read, hear and what your children watch, put the computer also in the family room where you can supervise it, see what they are doing with it. 
We all also must take any personal addiction seriously especially amongst teens, and the adults now too,  because 25% of North Americans die as a result of substance abuse. The average alcoholic dies twenty-six years earlier than he or she would otherwise. Drug users, alcoholics, cheaters, abusers, adulterers affect negatively continually too the lives of at least six others
 
Establish Boundaries, Set Limits, Set detachment.  One example of setting a boundary is telling a close friend, a loved one  that you prefer they not be around you if they are smoking,  drunk or high. Notice that it is specific demand, and you have to sit down and communicate this type of request explicitly with that someone. Setting a boundary like this is difficult because there is this tendency to hurt other’s feelings. But that is part of what is keeping you ineffective– your caring more about this person’s feelings than your own personal well being. Setting boundaries is about putting your own personal well being and even that of others first, and letting that be a guiding example of how to live. You know you are setting effective boundaries when you are taking back control of your own life firstly and starting to regain your own sanity–instead of being all wrapped up in the problems of a struggling smoker, rebel, drug addict or alcoholic. 
 
The fastest way for anyone to change is by prayers, them also praying, even by the prayers of others, reading the Bible as well.. valid support groups also still can either be pretentious, fake, wolves in sheep clothing,   or helpful?  Beware always of men and women, bullies, tormentors, control freaks,  persons, civil and public servants,  politicians, pastors, leaders, elders, who falsely do, will try to enslave you, oppress you, exploit you even while they claim they are proclaiming the truth, democracy, trying to help you, etc.,    Is 51:23 ..your tormentors {and} oppressors, those who said to you, Bow down, that we may ride {or} tread over you; and you have made your back like the ground and like the street for them to pass over.   

“Here are some things that you can do in order to practice detachment with the struggling pervert in your life:
-Don’t do things that they should be doing themselves.
-Don’t bend over backwards to rescue them or save them from natural consequences.
-Don’t cover up for their mistakes or embarrassing situations.
-Don’t rescue them from crisis or financial situations.
-Don’t try to fix them.
-Let go of any guilt you may have about them.
   
Detachment is not about denying your emotions. If someone close to you dies, for example, you will probably feel sad. You can’t choose this feeling. It simply is. But we do have the power to affect the intensity of this feeling, by focusing on the positive aspects of the situation. We can also change our thinking in an attempt to eradicate irrational beliefs that might be contributing to our emotional turmoil.

The goal is not to go without emotions, the goal is to achieve some level of emotional stability. We are detaching from the negative, irrational thoughts that stir up our emotions–like the guilt we might have if we think someone’s perversity, addiction is our fault.
Detachment is difficult and takes practice.” 
 
Summary: How to help a teenager that does not listen or how to make a bad person change to a good person.. are some of the very common search questions for this topic now too.. the critical word being change.. you can set clear boundaries, detachments, and  give wise verbal instruction to a wise person, or some kind of a reward incentive, but still he may or may not next listen to it and follow it.. a foolish person  certainly will not listen to good advice for a start, may need to hopefully learn the hard way with a rod of life’s correction LIKE THE PRODIGAL SON NEXT DID .. for  you cannot hope to change anyone still by yourself without God’s help, input in reality. Humble Prayer is the starting method in getting God’s help.
 
(Jer 14:7 KJV)  O LORD, though our iniquities testify against us, do thou it for thy name’s sake: for our backslidings are many; we have sinned against thee.
 
(Jer 2:19 KJV)  Thine own wickedness shall correct thee, and thy backslidings shall reprove thee: know therefore and see that it is an evil thing and bitter, that thou hast forsaken the LORD thy God, and that my fear is not in thee, saith the Lord GOD of hosts.
 
(Jer 3:22 KJV)  Return, ye backsliding children, and I will heal your backslidings. Behold, we come unto thee; for thou art the LORD our God.
 
(Jer 5:6 KJV)  Wherefore a lion out of the forest shall slay them, and a wolf of the evenings shall spoil them, a leopard shall watch over their cities: every one that goeth out thence shall be torn in pieces: because their transgressions are many, and their backslidings are increased.
 

It also now seems that unresolved problems tend to make us seek God. How to draw closer to God. You have wanted God to speak to you for a long time. You have wanted to talk to God and get answers back. This  is an opportunity for you to have a dialogue with God. God too wants to communicate with you. You might have been in church, a crusade, in your room, or outside under the stars. You felt God’s call, but you didn’t know exactly what God wanted you to do. You knew you were going to do something special, but you didn’t know what it was. Now you can also find out God’s plan for you, and others too and the literature is all free too.   It teaches you how to hear God’s voice.  God will teach you many things you need to know.  Valid spiritual tools to help you make conscious contact with God: Praise, Prayer, Humbleness, Obedience, the Bible. Get yourself ready where God speaks to you  Do see http://pbulow.tripod.com/wait.html   and http://pbulow.tripod.com/voice.html   
 
Do see also
http://pbulow.tripod.com/
http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/2008/07/21/hidden-agendas/  
http://postedat.wordpress.com/2008/07/21/the-pretender-imposter-wolf-in-sheep-clothing/  
http://postedat.wordpress.com/2008/07/07/control-freaks/  
http://www.socyberty.com/Advice/Are-You-a-Control-Freak.101788  
http://postedat.wordpress.com/2008/07/24/wrongful-accusations/   
http://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/07/03/verbal-abuse-is-always-unacceptable-too/

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Just by me merely observing

Just by me merely observing in churches, on the net, in politics, elsehwere too, I too can see too many professing Christians act now even ungodly and next say wrongfully it is ok.. so do the bad pastors.
  
(2Ti 3:16) All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: 17 That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.
 
(Psa 19:7) The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul: the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple. 8 The statutes of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart: the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes. 9 The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring for ever: the judgments of the LORD are true and righteous altogether.
 
(Psa 19:11) Moreover by them is thy servant warned: and in keeping of them there is great reward.
 
(Pro 13:13) Whoso despiseth the word shall be destroyed: but he that feareth the commandment shall be rewarded. 
 
Jer 7:2 Stand in the gate of the Lord’s house and proclaim there this word and say, Hear the word of the Lord, all you of Judah who enter in at these gates to worship the Lord. 3 Thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel: Amend your ways and your doings, and I will cause you to dwell in this place. 4 Trust not in the lying words [of the false prophets who maintain that God will protect Jerusalem because His temple is there], saying, This is the temple of the Lord, the temple of the Lord, the temple of the Lord. 5 For if you thoroughly amend your ways and your doings, if you thoroughly {and} truly execute justice between every man and his neighbor,
 6 If you do not oppress the transient {and} the alien, the fatherless, and the widow or shed innocent blood [by oppression and by judicial murders] in [Jerusalem] or go after other gods to your own hurt,  8 Behold, you trust in lying words that cannot benefit [so that you do not profit].  9
Will you steal, murder, commit adultery, swear falsely, burn incense to Baal, and go after other gods that you have not known, 10 And [then dare to] come and stand before Me in this house, which is called by My Name, and say, [By the discharge of this religious formality] we are set free!–only to go on with this wickedness {and} these abominations? 11 Has this house, which is called by My Name, become a den of robbers in your eyes [a place of retreat for you between acts of violence]? Behold, I Myself have seen it, says the Lord. 12 But go now to My place which was in Shiloh [in Ephraim], where I set My Name at the first, and see what I did to it for the wickedness of My people Israel. 13 And now, because you have done all these things, says the Lord, and [because] when I spoke to you persistently [even rising up early and speaking], you did not listen, and when I called you, you did not answer, 14 Therefore will I do to this house (the temple), which is called by My Name {and} in which you trust, to the place which I gave to you and to your fathers, as I did to Shiloh. 15 And I will cast you out of My sight, as I have cast out all your brethren, even the whole posterity of Ephraim. 16 Therefore do not pray for this people [of Judah] or lift up a cry or entreaty for them or make intercession to Me, for I will not listen to {or} hear you.
 
Jer 7:21 Thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel: Add your burnt offerings to your sacrifices and eat the flesh [if you will. It will avail you nothing].  22 For in the day that I brought them out of the land of Egypt, I did not speak to your fathers or command them concerning burnt offerings or sacrifices. 23 But this thing I did command them: Listen to {and} obey My voice, and I will be your God and you will be My people; and walk in the whole way that I command you, that it may be well with you. 24 But they would not listen to {and} obey Me or bend their ear [to Me], but followed the counsels {and} the stubborn promptings of their own evil hearts {and} minds, and they turned their backs {and} went in reverse instead of forward. 25 Since the day that your fathers came forth out of the land of Egypt to this day, I have persistently sent to you all My servants the prophets, sending them daily, early and late. 26 Yet the people would not listen to {and} obey Me or bend their ears [to Me], but stiffened their necks and behaved worse than their fathers.
 27 Speak all these words to them, but they will not listen to {and} obey you; also call to them, but they will not answer you.
Yet you shall say to them, This is the nation that did not obey the voice of the Lord their God or receive instruction {and} correction {and} warning; truth {and} faithfulness have perished and have completely vanished from their mouths. 29 Cut off your hair [your crown, O Jerusalem] and cast it away, and take up a lamentation on the bare heights, for the Lord has rejected and forsaken the generation of His wrath. 30 For the children of Judah have done evil in My sight, says the Lord; they have set their abominations (extremely disgusting and shamefully vile things) in the house which is called by My Name to defile it.
 
Jer 8:4 .. Thus says the Lord: Shall men fall and not rise up again? Shall one turn away [from God] and not repent {and} return [to Him]? 5 Why then is this people of Jerusalem turned away with a perpetual turning away [from Me]? They hold fast to deceit (idolatry); they refuse to repent {and} return [to God]. 6 I have listened and heard, but they have not spoken aright; no man repents of his wickedness, saying, What have I done? Everyone turns to his [individual] course, as the horse rushes like a torrent into battle. 7 [Even the migratory birds are punctual to their seasons.] Yes, the stork [excelling in the great height of her flight] in the heavens knows her appointed times [of migration], and the turtledove, the swallow, and the crane observe the time of their return. But My people do not know the law of the Lord [which the lower animals instinctively recognize in so far as it applies to them]. 8 How can you say, We are wise, and we have the written law of the Lord [and are learned in its language and teachings]? Behold, the truth is, the lying pen of the scribes has made of the law a falsehood (a mere code of ceremonial observances). 9 The wise men shall be put to shame; they shall be dismayed and taken [captive]. Behold, they have rejected the word of the Lord, and what wisdom {and} broad, full intelligence is in them? 10 .. for everyone, from the least even to the greatest, is given to covetousness (is greedy for unjust gain); from the prophet even to the priest, everyone deals falsely. 11

For they have healed the wound of the daughter of My people only lightly {and} slightingly, saying, Peace, peace, when there is no peace.

Jer 8:14 .. For the Lord our God has decreed our ruin and given us bitter {and} poisonous water to drink, because we have sinned against the Lord. 15 We looked for peace {and} completeness, but no good came, and for a time of healing, but behold, dismay, trouble, {and} terror!

Jer 8:22
Is there no balm in Gilead? Is there no physician there? Why then is not the health of the daughter of my people restored? [Because Zion no longer enjoyed the presence of the Great Physician!]
  
 I said it before often if the Pastors too often act bad themselves how can I expect the others to be any better now too even in Canada?
 Look I am not alone in this view.. too many Canadian persons have noticed that we have much too many alcoholics in the governments, even as elected ones, even as leaders, Brian Mulroney was known for his boozing now too.. Regretfully still there  much too many alcoholics even in the Conservative party now for my liking,  , in this area too they are just as bad as the Liberal too it seems..  and who can forget Ralph Klein’s alcoholic outburts too, A man is certainly known what he is like by the friends he keep and having an brain damaged alcoholic as a friend, as a  drinking buddy is really no virtue, it is a sad recommendation,  a poor reference that you cannot even be now proud off.. The Prime Minister Stephen Harper a professing Christian Missinary Alliance Evangelcial too had said that the ex PM Brian Mulroney was a close friends.. he Harper now really better start to get better friends and appointees than his alcoholic drinking buddies.. and still not one cent of taxpayers’ money should ever be even used  to buy any alcoholic, alcohol  at any governmental function, expense account.. for we all know how bad alcoholism is and how much evil , suffering it brings, all alcoholics should be fired, especially all of the alcoholic the public and civil servants, all alcoholic  elected officials too  and  not rather falsely  rewarded with more alcohol for almost all of them are already known to be liars, cheat’s thieves, abusers, etc..

http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/2008/07/18/the-pcs-said-the-liberals-were-crooked-but-what-about-themselves/

http://anyonecare.wordpress.com/2008/06/29/hard-to-tell-the-difference/

http://anyonecare.wordpress.com/2008/05/25/alcoholism-the-unacceptable-sin/

http://postedat.wordpress.com/2008/07/29/and-if-the-righteous-scarcely-be-saved/

http://anyonecare.wordpress.com/2008/05/23/good-and-bad-unacceptable-theology/

 http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/2008/07/22/pm-stephen-harper-needs-to-get-better-friends-needs-to-repent-himself-too/

 http://anyonecare.wordpress.com/2008/07/16/just-by-me-merely-observing/