it is not good for the man to dwell alone

God says ‘that it is not good for the man to dwell alone’ (Gen 2:18), therefore he created a wife for Adam.

 I agree  a man needs to find a wife and a woman needs to find a husband. Paul says that if an unmarried person cannot exercise self-control 1 they should marry. (1Co 7:8-9 ESV) To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. (9) But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion.  Paul says something along similar lines later in Ch 7. (1Co 7:36-37 ESV) If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry–it is no sin. (37) But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well.

(1 Th 4:3-7 NIV) It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; {4} that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, {5} not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; {6} and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. {7} For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.

(Titus 2:6 NIV) Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled.

(1 Cor 7:2 NIV) But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. \

(Prov 18:22 NIV) He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.

 In 1 Cor 6:12, Paul says ‘”Everything is permissible for me”–but I will not be mastered by anything’. If we become slaves to a bad habit, then we are not in control of our body.

(1 Cor 6:12-13 NIV) “Everything is permissible for me”–but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me”–but I will not be mastered by anything. {13} “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food”–but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.

(1 Cor 7:1-4 NIV) Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. {2} But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. {3} The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. {4} The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.

(Phil 4:7-8 NIV) And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. {8} Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.

In 1 Th 4:4-5 Paul tells us that “each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God”. Also in 2 Tim 2:22 Paul’s advice to Timothy, is to flee the evil desires of youth, and a positive command is introduced , which is to pursue righteousness, faith love and peace.

(Titus 2:6) Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled.

2 Tim 2:22 Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

(1 Cor 6:15-20 NIV) Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! {16} Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” {17} But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit. {18} Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. {19} Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; {20} you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
Again the problem here is that the Corinthians were going to a prostitute and becoming one body, or one flesh with the prostitute. Paul argues that our bodies are a member of Christ himself, and that we should not unite them with a prostitute. He is sinning against his body by uniting it with a prostitute. This is certainly not the case with masturbation. However perhaps 1 Cor 6:19-20 are more relevant to masturbation, we are not our own, we were bought at a price, therefore we should honour God with our body. It is hard to see that masturbation is honoring to God, while sex within marriage is.

(Mat 5:28 NIV) But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

(Job 31:1 NIV) “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl.

(Mat 5:29 NIV) If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.

(Phil 4:8 NIV) Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.

(Prov 24:16 NIV) for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again, but the wicked are brought down by calamity.

James 4:8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

(Mat 18:21-22 NIV) Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” {22} Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

(Heb 2:17-18 NIV) For this reason he had to be made like his brothers in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. {18} Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted. (Heb 3:1 NIV) Therefore, holy brothers, who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus, the apostle and high priest whom we confess.

(Heb 12:4 NIV) In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.

(1 Cor 10:13 NIV) No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

(Prov 5:18-20 NIV) May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. {19} A loving doe, a graceful deer– may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. {20} Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man’s wife?

(1 Tim 4:1-5 NIV) The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons. {2} Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron. {3} They forbid people to marry and order them to abstain from certain foods, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and who know the truth. {4} For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, {5} because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer.

1Co 7:33-34 ESV But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, (34) and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.

1Co 7:12-16 ESV To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. (13) If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. (14) For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. (15) But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. (16) Wife, how do you know whether you will save your husband? Husband, how do you know whether you will save your wife?

(1 Cor 6:13 NIV) “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food”–but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 

 see also http://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/07/17/the-false-divorce-incentives/

http://postedat.wordpress.com/2008/08/21/todd-bentley-someone-has-to-say-it-to-you/

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Deliberate unforgiveness

In decades now I have rarely heard of Deliberate unforgiveness being mentioned as a basic cause of divorce or of  the ongoing marital problems.. and yet it   undeniably is..  

I am sure even you have heard of bitter, unfriendly divorces where spouses refused to talk to each even decades later, and yet I am certain that in these very same cases wrongful Deliberate unforgiveness was a basic cause of the same divorce..
 
There is still also conditional forgiveness, and unconditional forgiveness too..

Our Unconditional forgiveness is when we choose to accept all the past  negative consequences due to the other person’s bad acts  and to merely forgive the same person fully anyway… and we decide also at the same time not pursue a course of personal vengeance in the matter. Rather we ascribe  to God’s own related acts of venegeance fully next in the same matter.

Then there is the conditional forgiveness where we are willing to forgive the persons solely firstly if they do admit their wrongs, sins, repent of them and ask for our forgiveness and agree to the appropriate punishment terms..

Now there for sure that some things cannot be merely next unconditionally forgiven.. such as when one spouse continues to cheat, lies, steal, commit adultery..

The type of forgiveness  and related consequences may depend on whether the offending person  knew what he or she was doing was wrong now too.. and how sincere, quckly they had now repented too, even if they had dones so on their own too.

Even Unforgiveness can still have negative consequences on both parties even as well.. it for sure can cause a lot of personal stress, bitterness, wasted energies too on the offended party in addition to the harm already done.

When can I forgive, and when can I not forgive someone? may also depend on how big of price are you willing now to pay next for doing so? or not doing so?

If you don’t forgive those who have sinned against you, it is very probable that you will suffer some health problems. If you carry around a grudge it will stress your immune system to the point you can develop everything from cancer to a common cold. THAT’S A FACT! Therefore, if it is possible and does not violate another’s rights – forgive and forget. It is best for you?
 
(1 Tim 5:20 KJV)  Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear.(1 Tim 5:21 KJV)  I charge thee before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, and the elect angels, that thou observe these things without preferring one before another, doing nothing by partiality.
 
(Rev 3:19 KJV)  As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.
 
Everyone has been wronged, offended, and had even sinned against  some one at some point in life. How are we to respond when such offenses occur? According to some fundamentals who say, or are they going overboard with this too?  they say that the Bible commands that we are to unconditionally forgive others, we now are to forgive everyone. Ephesians 4:32 declares, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Similarly, Colossians 3:13 proclaims, “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” The key in both Scriptures of these isolated verse of course  neglecting any others is that we are to forgive others, as God has forgiven us. It is also understood that a brother has repented, is sorry for their wrongdoings?
 
Why do we forgive? Because we have been forgiven! But is that necessary so? God himself does not forgive us for all of our sins automatically, his conditions for forgiveness needs to be still met according to the same Bible..
 
 I am rightfully  inclined also to believe you don’t always have the right to forgive a person who has not repented themselves  for God will not hear your prayer on the matter – that act may even be a sin against God – – for you to misuse your authority in this manner may be an unacceptable sin.  
 
(John 5:14 KJV)  Afterward Jesus findeth him in the temple, and said unto him, Behold, thou art made whole: sin no more, lest a worse thing come unto thee.
 
(John 8:10 KJV)  When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? 11 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.
 
(Mat 18:15 KJV)  Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.
 
(Luke 17:3 KJV)  Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.
 
(Mark 11:25 KJV)  And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.
 
(Mat 6:12 KJV)  And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
 
(Mat 6:14 KJV)  For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:15  But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
 
(Mat 18:21 KJV)  Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? (Luke 17:4 KJV)  And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.
 
(Mat 18:35 KJV)  So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.
 
(Luke 6:37 KJV)  Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:
 
(Luke 23:34 KJV)  Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.
 
(2 Cor 2:7 KJV)  So that contrariwise ye ought rather to forgive him, and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up with overmuch sorrow.
 
(2 Cor 2:10 KJV)  To whom ye forgive any thing, I forgive also: for if I forgave any thing, to whom I forgave it, for your sakes forgave I it in the person of Christ; 

(1 John 1:9 KJV)  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
   
(Gal 6:7 KJV)  Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. 8  For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.
 
(Heb 12:4 KJV)  Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin. 5  And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:  6  For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. 7  If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? 8  But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. 9  Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? 10  For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. 11  Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby. 12  Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees; 13  And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed. 

(1 John 5:16 KJV)  If any man see his brother sin a sin which is not unto death, he shall ask, and he shall give him life for them that sin not unto death. There is a sin unto death: I do not say that he shall pray for it.
 
(1 John 5:17 KJV)  All unrighteousness is sin: and there is a sin not unto death.
 
(Mat 9:6 KJV)  But that ye may know that the Son of man hath power on earth to forgive sins, (then saith he to the sick of the palsy,) Arise, take up thy bed, and go unto thine house.
 
(Deu 32:35 KJV)  To me belongeth vengeance, and recompense; their foot shall slide in due time: for the day of their calamity is at hand, and the things that shall come upon them make haste.
 
(Deu 32:41 KJV)  If I whet my glittering sword, and mine hand take hold on judgment; I will render vengeance to mine enemies, and will reward them that hate me.
 
(Deu 32:43 KJV)  Rejoice, O ye nations, with his people: for he will avenge the blood of his servants, and will render vengeance to his adversaries, and will be merciful unto his land, and to his people.
 
(Psa 58:10 KJV)  The righteous shall rejoice when he seeth the vengeance: he shall wash his feet in the blood of the wicked.
 
(Psa 94:1 KJV)  O LORD God, to whom vengeance belongeth; O God, to whom vengeance belongeth, show thyself.
 
(Psa 99:8 KJV)  Thou answeredst them, O LORD our God: thou wast a God that forgavest them, though thou tookest vengeance of their inventions.
 
(Psa 149:7 KJV)  To execute vengeance upon the heathen, and punishments upon the people;
 
(Prov 6:34 KJV)  For jealousy is the rage of a man: therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance.
 
(Isa 34:8 KJV)  For it is the day of the Lord’s vengeance, and the year of recompenses for the controversy of Zion.
 
(Isa 35:4 KJV)  Say to them that are of a fearful heart, Be strong, fear not: behold, your God will come with vengeance, even God with a recompense; he will come and save you.
 
(Isa 47:3 KJV)  Thy nakedness shall be uncovered, yea, thy shame shall be seen: I will take vengeance, and I will not meet thee as a man.
 
(Isa 59:17 KJV)  For he put on righteousness as a breastplate, and an helmet of salvation upon his head; and he put on the garments of vengeance for clothing, and was clad with zeal as a cloak.
 
(Isa 61:2 KJV)  To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn;
 
(Isa 63:4 KJV)  For the day of vengeance is in mine heart, and the year of my redeemed is come.
 
(Jer 20:12 KJV)  But, O LORD of hosts, that triest the righteous, and seest the reins and the heart, let me see thy vengeance on them: for unto thee have I opened my cause.
 
(Jer 46:10 KJV)  For this is the day of the Lord GOD of hosts, a day of vengeance, that he may avenge him of his adversaries: and the sword shall devour, and it shall be satiate and made drunk with their blood: for the Lord GOD of hosts hath a sacrifice in the north country by the river Euphrates.
 
(Jer 50:15 KJV)  Shout against her round about: she hath given her hand: her foundations are fallen, her walls are thrown down: for it is the vengeance of the LORD: take vengeance upon her; as she hath done, do unto her.
 
(Jer 50:28 KJV)  The voice of them that flee and escape out of the land of Babylon, to declare in Zion the vengeance of the LORD our God, the vengeance of his temple.
 
(Jer 51:6 KJV)  Flee out of the midst of Babylon, and deliver every man his soul: be not cut off in her iniquity; for this is the time of the LORD’S vengeance; he will render unto her a recompense.
 
(Jer 51:36 KJV)  Therefore thus saith the LORD; Behold, I will plead thy cause, and take vengeance for thee; and I will dry up her sea, and make her springs dry.
 
(Ezek 25:14 KJV)  And I will lay my vengeance upon Edom by the hand of my people Israel: and they shall do in Edom according to mine anger and according to my fury; and they shall know my vengeance, saith the Lord GOD.
 
(Ezek 25:15 KJV)  Thus saith the Lord GOD; Because the Philistines have dealt by revenge, and have taken vengeance with a despiteful heart, to destroy it for the old hatred;
 
(Ezek 25:17 KJV)  And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.
 
(Micah 5:15 KJV)  And I will execute vengeance in anger and fury upon the heathen, such as they have not heard.
 
(Nahum 1:2 KJV)  God is jealous, and the LORD revengeth; the LORD revengeth, and is furious; the LORD will take vengeance on his adversaries, and he reserveth wrath for his enemies.
 
(Luke 21:22 KJV)  For these be the days of vengeance, that all things which are written may be fulfilled.
 
(Rom 3:5 KJV)   Is God unrighteous who taketh vengeance?
 
(Rom 12:19 KJV)  Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
 
(2 Th 1:8 KJV)  In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
 
(Heb 10:30 KJV)  For we know him that hath said, Vengeance belongeth unto me, I will recompense, saith the Lord. And again, The Lord shall judge his people.
 
(Jude 1:7 KJV)  Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.
 
When I hear too often the mostly poor Biblical theology coming out of many person’s mouth even these days, I know that they are clearly not only ignorant of God’s words in the Bible, and they have not been mediating on it as well but I also tend to know they are still not Holy Spirit filled or led too.
 
Anyone Forgiving someone does still  not tend to remove possible negative consequences upon that persons, for after all they still need to ask for and accept God’s forgiveness and resulting positive consequences.. God tends to forgive but that does not mean he still may no prescribe some appropriate negative pushiest, consequences as a deterrent to stop from sinning again too.. for those who God loves
 
(Psa 39:11 KJV)  When thou with rebukes dost correct man for iniquity, thou makest his beauty to consume away like a moth: surely every man is vanity. Selah.
 
(Psa 94:10 KJV)  He that chastiseth the heathen, shall not he correct? he that teacheth man knowledge, shall not he know?
 
(Jer 2:19 KJV)  Thine own wickedness shall correct thee, and thy backslidings shall reprove thee: know therefore and see that it is an evil thing and bitter, that thou hast forsaken the LORD thy God, and that my fear is not in thee, saith the Lord GOD of hosts.
 
(Jer 10:24 KJV)  O LORD, correct me, but with judgment; not in thine anger, lest thou bring me to nothing.
 
(Jer 30:11 KJV)  For I am with thee, saith the LORD, to save thee: though I make a full end of all nations whither I have scattered thee, yet will I not make a full end of thee: but I will correct thee in measure, and will not leave thee altogether unpunished.
 
(2 Sam 7:14 KJV)  I will be his father, and he shall be my son. If he commit iniquity, I will chasten him with the rod of men, and with the stripes of the children of men:
 
(Psa 6:1 KJV)   O LORD, rebuke me not in thine anger, neither chasten me in thy hot displeasure. 
 
(Prov 19:18 KJV)  Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.
 
(Dan 10:12 KJV)  Then said he unto me, Fear not, Daniel: for from the first day that thou didst set thine heart to understand, and to chasten thyself before thy God, thy words were heard, and I am come for thy words.
 
(Rev 3:19 KJV)  As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent. 

 

Find out also how to receive full unconditional  pardon from God now for your own sins,  a full  forgiveness for your sins, by the paid penalty for the sins through the shed innocent blood of Jesus Christ the Messiah. You cannot earn it, it is free by faith in Him. The Bible says God accepts us on the basis of what He did, not on the basis of what we try to do. We can’t “pay” for God’s forgiveness by working harder or serving more fervently. King David was  a murderer and an adulterer too who found forgiveness from God!     http://beauty4ashes.org/salvation/salvation.html

More about Control freaks. Fears too.

Control freaks do often have a terrible personal, social  life too and do often make all life terrible for those they live with, marry, work with, come in contact with.
 
Now Graphics, arts and photography have been hobbies of mine for decades, so it should not come as a surprise to my friends, neighbors, others to see me taking digital pictures, including scenery, trees, flowers..  http://picasaweb.google.com/thenonconformer  
 
but I am often amazed how many times I have seen housewives  objectionably running out of their  front door with a phone in their hand ready to call police because they saw that I was on the sidewalk taking a picture of their tree, shrub, flower in their yard.. these are also the evidently control freaks.. these people who manifest Psychological Disorders or Abnormal Behavior, showing  a personal behavior that is either deviant, maladaptive, or personally distressful. Meaning they likely need real, valid professional help. Includes now also their having  an  “abnormal thought processes”.
 
 It is like the line from Simon and Garfunkels’ song, The Boxer: where ” a man hears what he wants to hear . And disregards the rest.” and the sick ladies had openly screamed to me, you are crazy, no person in his right mind now takes pictures of flowers, you have an alternative agenda.. clearly this showing now yes they have lost it..  sadly lost touch with reality.
  
Control freaks are very likely the often very close to you people who are too often personally afraid and are desperately now trying to manipulate others and their environments to minimize their own fears, all now mostly done  likely still out of reality, motivated by often their  false fears now too.  They are the often Fear-driven persons who question and complain to all others unless every task is done by others as they want it too be done, practical or not, to the full satisfaction of their own selfish needs, desires which much always come first. Do they feel guilty living such a clearly selfish, self centered life.. now, not openly and explains why they tend to behave so crazy like too. Covering up for them, falsely denying who they are  is also still  an act of the other crazy people now too.
 
These control freaks their sad present development it  now have too often been a long time in the making now, for they did not arrive  to this disturbed state of mind likely even over night. Their clear need to control others is almost always still mostly  fueled by their ongoing selfishness, self centeredness, anxiety, personal fears, and  imaginary ones mostly too, Such as the suspicious persons questioning my motives for taking pictures of flowers. I now have learned to take time to smell the roses and to enjoy them. They sadly now  have not.. 
 
but the control freaks wrongfully seldom recognize any of their negative behaviors, acts so  never mind next openly even now admitting their own motivation fears. Which leads to the question can there be next hope for them.. unlikely…
  
Unresolved Fear, anxiety can  lead  next to some people with ‘liveable’ responses but with others it leads them to a deeply disabled, disturbed responses, a long lasting, permanently disturbed mind and life. Excessive anxiety and fear are factors in some common personal emotional and physical illnesses causing extreme self-focus and apprehension. 
  
Their own  lives, views, expressions, words  are also characterized by them too often falsely listening to other’s  lies, gossip, slanders,  exaggerations,  distortions of reality too. Clearly they are some of the  People who have lost the fundamental grasp of truths and reality it seems. Sick, sick persons  who have   turned inward, defending themselves from their anxiety and usually hiding  from real life in general.So instead of embracing all activities as a challenge where unexpected, difficult  things are anticipated with pleasure and the person is open to new experience, rather now many activities are solely come to be seen as a potential threat and are looked at with suspicion and fearful anticipation; and a happy life for them falsely begins to close down.
 
Disregard simply their demands always and do not give into them, for it will wrongfully reinforce that they were right about their too often still unfounded fears rather too.. 
 
And  most people try hard to avoid the Control freaks, by desperately trying to have nothing to do with them in case these supposedly crazies next go berserk and do something stupid, violent, embarrassing next.. for this fear motivation that  the control freaks   they tend to have is not at all healthy or normal.Do readily now Tell them to get help, and the sooner the better,  to deal with their much too many fears due often to their personal  unresolved guilt,  and/or fears of negative resulting possible consequences, or the fear of dying, getting hurt, being fired, mugged, becoming poor,  or whatever..
 
Non physically handicapped person suffering  from considerable feelings of guilt, from considerable feelings of inadequacy is   now so obvious a reality in real life  for them too. 
The control minded Sickness, Illness can likely rightfully often be associated with the persons own past actual   bad acts, unresolved moral guilt in their own contemporary minds and their subsequent behavior now seen as  related punishment for their own past, unconfessed, unrepented of moral wrongdoings that can,  does come forth  and so such association of cause and effect can really still exists for them as well(1 Th 4:7 KJV)  For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness.(1 Th 5:9 KJV)  For God hath not appointed us to wrath, but to obtain salvation by our Lord Jesus Christ,(2 Tim 1:7 KJV)  For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.See also http://postedat.wordpress.com/2008/07/07/control-freaks/ 
 
You may also seriously want to look more into why some people personally  tend to have a large, a false amount of guilt, phobias, unresolved genuine fears too.
 
Have you ever felt guilty? Of course you have, usually because you were indeed guilty. But not always!
 
Phobia. [Gr. phobos, fear.] any persistent, irrational, and excessive fear of some particular thing or situation. (Webster’s New Universal Unabridged Dictionary, 1983 Many People who have struggled with phobias understand how immune such phobias where even the irrational fears continue to plague the victim.
 
Many “People with low self-esteem experience a high degree of insecurity and jeopardy. They do not feel safe most of the time. One defense is to become a perfectionist. After all if you do something perfectly, you are beyond criticism and no one can hurt you. Perfectionism is an attempt to create perfect safety (which is, needless to say, unattainable). The other safety attempt is to become a control freak and try to control everything. If we can control everything, nothing will ever jump up and surprise or hurt us. 
 
 People with low self-esteem tend to live in a closed system that is hard to break. Because they have difficulty admitting negatives, either about themselves or their behavior, it is hard to reach them. It is especially difficult for someone with low self-esteem who is defensive or in denial to admit that they are afraid. As a result, it is difficult, occasionally impossible, to reassure them that it is okay to be afraid or to be in pain. Their major fear is that it is all their fault. That’s a lie. It is not all their fault, but it’s a lie that’s hard to surrender.”   http://www.getnewvisions.com/se/03crse_symptoms.html
 
People who are doing wrong, doing their own thing without God rightfully still do need to feel guilty about they wrongs they are doing too. Believe it or not if you continually cheat, lie, steal, commit adultery, tell lies, do bad things, etc you will subconsciously even feel bad about yourself and have a very low self esteem too and often falsely try  to compensate the void by the false counterfeits still of power, control, more lusts, money etc., to no permanent avail too
 
But what about those times when you have feelings of guilt even when you didn’t do anything wrong?
 
Some people say that “Usually a person driven by false guilt is afraid of freedom because in every act of freedom is the possibility of offending someone. Offending someone is unacceptable. Other people are seen as pipelines of approval. If they’re offended, the pipeline shuts down.” Maybe you feel guilty cause you have been lazy and did not much good too? so you feel this void in your own life?see also http://www.anxietycare.org.uk/docs/agoraphobia.asp
 
and there is also the genuine and also the false religious fears now too..”Relatively little attention is given by many of us  to religious fears, however. It is apparent that manipulative minds can readily distort the scriptures in order to produce feelings of fear, guilt, remorse and even hysteria. The followers of Jim Jones and Ayatollah Khomeini can attest to that. What is surprising is that often the victims are aware of their paranoia and know it to be destructive, but feel powerless to overcome it. ” http://www.freeminds.org/psych/phobias.htmNow if something you are doing makes you feel really bad, first do find out why and maybe stop doing it too. Or maybe not! Don’t take the false blame for another persons fault, sickness, sin.

For being nice. kind, friendly to a really bad person is still also a complete waste of time, for they will not change their negative behaviors on their own, they see no reasons to do so now still too. Sad but true.

We cannot never control a bad person, a drug addict or an alcoholic, but we can learn all about it and learn firstly to control our own behavior, appropriate responses –including how we should behave in the relationship with the sick and suffering and /or possibly manipulative addict or alcoholic, abuser OR THESE pretentious persons..

Public exposure and prosecution of the guilty persons seems to be most effective way that works for everyone’s benefit in dealing with the bad acts of others still.

 

 (Job 28:28 KJV)  And unto man he said, Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom; and to depart from evil is understanding.

(2 Chr 19:7 KJV)  Wherefore now let the fear of the LORD be upon you; take heed and do it: for there is no iniquity with the LORD our God, nor respect of persons, nor taking of gifts

(Psa 19:9 KJV)  The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring for ever: the judgments of the LORD are true and righteous altogether.

(Psa 34:11 KJV)  Come, ye children, hearken unto me: I will teach you the fear of the LORD.

(Psa 111:10 KJV)  The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: a good understanding have all they that do his commandments: his praise endureth for ever.

(Prov 1:7 KJV)  The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.

(Prov 1:29 KJV)  For that they hated knowledge, and did not choose the fear of the LORD:

(Prov 8:13 KJV)  The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate.

(Prov 9:10 KJV)  The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding.

(Prov 10:27 KJV)  The fear of the LORD prolongeth days: but the years of the wicked shall be shortened.

(Prov 14:27 KJV)  The fear of the LORD is a fountain of life, to depart from the snares of death.

(Prov 15:16 KJV)  Better is little with the fear of the LORD than great treasure and trouble therewith.

(Prov 15:33 KJV)  The fear of the LORD is the instruction of wisdom; and before honour is humility.

(Prov 19:23 KJV)  The fear of the LORD tendeth to life: and he that hath it shall abide satisfied; he shall not be visited with evil.

(Prov 23:17 KJV)  Let not thine heart envy sinners: but be thou in the fear of the LORD all the day long.

(Isa 33:6 KJV)  And wisdom and knowledge shall be the stability of thy times, and strength of salvation: the fear of the LORD is his treasure.

(Acts 9:31 KJV)  Then had the churches rest throughout all Judaea and Galilee and Samaria, and were edified; and walking in the fear of the Lord, and in the comfort of the Holy Ghost, were multiplied.  

now that all should be adequate food for thought..

I believe in all things work for the best for those who love God, but I rebuke all evil persons rightfully still.. I do not accept rightfully their abuse of others. Here is my reality.. Control freaks are demonic persons, led by the devil, who try to bring us into bondage, and they tend to  get a lot more crazy, get a lot worse..

 

 

I really often do try to learn from the many diverse experiences I encounter in life, to be able to deal with them more effectively and to be able to help, share more simply with any others even the solutions as well as to what I have experienced  and what I have learned now as well..   http://redreadingroom.blogspot.com/2008/01/intro.html 
 
I do not have to accept any of the negative consequences, or bad acts of other persons  and their sins too. That includes their verbal abuse, physical abuse, slander, lies, emotional abuses, their false silent treatment too now. etc.. I can even tell them that now too. 

 

I still am often amazed how many control freaks I do encounter, and yes often they can also be found in schools, homes, work, church,  governments, elsewhere too.. these are people who often claim they are giving you some helpful hints, tips, advice but are trying to manipulate you to do something they rather want.   

 

 

 

 

Friendly, Friends, Soulmate, Friendship, Companion

  A good definition of a good friend is a person  who is has a mutual reciprocal relationship with you where you can ask them to do something for you and they will do it  and not say selfishly why? what is it in it for me?  as opposed to a one sided,  selfish, control freak, give me, give me, give it to me relationship.
  
(Ruth 2:13 KJV)  Then she said, Let me find favour in thy sight, my lord; for that thou hast comforted me, and for that thou hast spoken friendly unto thine handmaid, though I be not like unto one of thine handmaidens.
 
(Prov 18:24 KJV)  A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
 
(Phil 2:25 KJV)  Yet I supposed it necessary to send to you Epaphroditus, my brother, and companion in labour, and fellowsoldier, but your messenger, and he that ministered to my wants.
 
(Mat 12:50 KJV)  For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.
 
(Psa 119:63 KJV)  I am a companion of all them that fear thee, and of them that keep thy precepts.
 
(Prov 13:20 KJV)  He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.
 
(Prov 28:7 KJV)  Whoso keepeth the law is a wise son: but he that is a companion of riotous men shameth his father.
 
(Prov 28:24 KJV)  Whoso robbeth his father or his mother, and saith, It is no transgression; the same is the companion of a destroyer.
 
(Mal 2:14 KJV)  Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.
 
(Rev 1:9 KJV)  I John, who also am your brother, and companion in tribulation, and in the kingdom and patience of Jesus Christ, was in the isle that is called Patmos, for the word of God, and for the testimony of Jesus Christ.
 
(Mat 25:33 KJV)  And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left.   34  Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: 35  For I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: 36  Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.  37  Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungered, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? 38  When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? 39  Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?  40  And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. 41  Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels: 42  For I was an hungered, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink: 43  I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not. 44  Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungered, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee? 45  Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me. 46  And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal.
 
and you can see also
http://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/07/14/changing-yourself-first-positively/
http://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/07/03/verbal-abuse-is-always-unacceptable-too/
http://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/07/17/the-too-common-abusive-silent-treatment/
 http://postedat.wordpress.com/2008/07/07/control-freaks/
http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/2008/06/15/bullies-free-speech/
http://postedat.wordpress.com/2008/07/21/the-pretender-imposter-wolf-in-sheep-clothing/
http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/2008/07/21/hidden-agendas/
http://postedat.wordpress.com/2008/06/23/another-bully/
http://anyonecare.wordpress.com/2008/07/12/bad-pastors-bad-deacons-bad-elders-bad-church/
 http://postedat.wordpress.com/2008/07/25/woe-to-the-shepherds/
http://anyonecare.wordpress.com/2008/07/16/just-by-me-merely-observing/
 http://anyonecare.wordpress.com/2008/06/21/amazing/
http://anyonecare.wordpress.com/2008/06/21/equality/
http://anyonecare.wordpress.com/2008/07/03/christians-are-supposedly-to-be-different/
http://anyonecare.wordpress.com/2008/07/02/unchristian/   
 
 
  
We all do have a natural desire to be loved, accepted by others, to have good friends. and this same desire can become  misused .. false persons can misuse  it, and/or we can go overboard in our desire to please others too..
 
Now everyone should be part of a valid social network, community, have good friends, but they must also be able to live alone, to stand up for their own rights, values, respect too.
 
All persons are also still known by the company they do keep now also.
 
(Prov 22:1 KJV)  A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favour rather than silver and gold.
 
(Eccl 7:1 KJV)  A good name is better than precious ointment; and the day of death than the day of one’s birth.
 
(1 Sam 2:26 KJV)  And the child Samuel grew on, and was in favour both with the LORD, and also with men.
 
(Est 2:17 KJV)  And the king loved Esther above all the women, and she obtained grace and favour in his sight more than all the virgins; so that he set the royal crown upon her head, and made her queen instead of Vashti.
 
(Psa 5:12 KJV)  For thou, LORD, wilt bless the righteous; with favour wilt thou compass him as with a shield.
 
(Psa 30:5 KJV)  For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.
 
(Psa 35:27 KJV)  Let them shout for joy, and be glad, that favour my righteous cause: yea, let them say continually, Let the LORD be magnified, which hath pleasure in the prosperity of his servant.
 
(Psa 44:3 KJV)  For they got not the land in possession by their own sword, neither did their own arm save them: but thy right hand, and thine arm, and the light of thy countenance, because thou hadst a favour unto them.
 
(Psa 89:17 KJV)  For thou art the glory of their strength: and in thy favour our horn shall be exalted.
 
(Psa 106:4 KJV)  Remember me, O LORD, with the favour that thou bearest unto thy people: O visit me with thy salvation;
 
(Prov 3:4 KJV)  So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man.
 
(Prov 12:2 KJV)  A good man obtaineth favour of the LORD: but a man of wicked devices will he condemn.
 
(Prov 13:15 KJV)  Good understanding giveth favour: but the way of transgressors is hard.
 
(Prov 14:9 KJV)  Fools make a mock at sin: but among the righteous there is favour.
 
(Prov 14:35 KJV)  The king’s favour is toward a wise servant: but his wrath is against him that causeth shame.
 
(Prov 21:10 KJV)  The soul of the wicked desireth evil: his neighbour findeth no favour in his eyes.
 
(Prov 29:26 KJV)  Many seek the ruler’s favour; but every man’s judgment cometh from the LORD.
 
(Prov 31:30 KJV)  Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
 
(Eccl 9:11 KJV)  I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.
 
(Isa 26:10 KJV)  Let favour be showed to the wicked, yet will he not learn righteousness: in the land of uprightness will he deal unjustly, and will not behold the majesty of the LORD.
 
(Isa 60:10 KJV)  And the sons of strangers shall build up thy walls, and their kings shall minister unto thee: for in my wrath I smote thee, but in my favour have I had mercy on thee.
 
(Luke 1:30 KJV)  And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God.
 
(Luke 2:52 KJV)  And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man.
 
(Acts 2:47 KJV)  Praising God, and having favour with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily such as should be saved.
 
    

What do you do when your family is Torn Apart.

But what do you do when your family has turned their backs on you? Have you asked yourself what did you do to cause this? Do you wish that you could erase all the bad things that has happen? Can a family that has been torn apart be reconciled again?    http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Virtuous1/blog/2008/07/13/What-do-you-do-when-your-family-is-Torn-Apart

 

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as many as are led by the Spirit of God

 

 

 

It is no secret that so many Marriages are messed up even in Christian homes now too, 30 percent divorce rates,  due to Laziness, Unrealistic expectations, Spoiled brats, and Uncontrolled sexual lusts, Viewing and reading porn.. for sure it seems undeniably firstly the parents have failed in properly raising their children to deal with life, and so next next have the schools and the churches too , when even most even evangelical pastors as we know  are inadequate, not spirit filled, commit adultery and counsel divorce wrongfully too

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

The false divorce incentives

(Luke 14:31 KJV)  Or what king, going to make war against another king, sitteth not down first, and consulteth whether he be able with ten thousand to meet him that cometh against him with twenty thousand? 32  Or else, while the other is yet a great way off, he sendeth an ambassage, and desireth conditions of peace.

 
Contrary to the devil’s and lawyers lies, only the lawyer’s and the courts are those persons who tend to get richer, profit generally from a divorce. On top of that Divorce persons tend to have a shorter life span, and more health problems as well compared to the others.
 
A spouse also tends not to file for divorce unless certain conditions are met..
 
– The think they can get richer by a divorce.. but 2 can live cheaper than one..
– They have a substitute mate in mind, whom they should have consulted first, cause often they have no intention ever of marrying them too..
– The have the false support of their family, mother generally, brother and sister. Even often a false pastor, a false church now too.
– They have adequate cash at hand to pay for the initially lawyer’s fees. you would be surprised how many spouses still keep a hidden bank account from the other spouse, eventually the other spouse finds out and this causes really deep bitterness, anger, resentment, even unforgiveness too.
 
There’s no doubt there are abusive spouses, male and females.. but often one spouses provokes the other one into an abusive response knowingly  beforehand as well..
 
Still there are no real spousal winners in broken home, a broken marriage generally now still too.
 
Both men and women often still are no angels. 
  
Can a true professing Christian now file for divorce? and why do so many Christians still do get divorced?
 
 There is clearly only one legitimate grounds for divorce for all believers, it is when  one an unrepentant spouse had committed adultery and refuses to repent… yes then divorce is mandatory here.. if they repent it is not! 
 
But  as far as unbelievers, we do not have to judge them they have been already judged by God and are going to Hell unless they repent (Rom 2:16 KJV)  In the day when God shall judge the secrets of men by Jesus Christ according to my gospel.
 
(1 Cor 5:12 KJV)  For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within? (1 Cor 5:13 KJV)  But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.
 
(1 Cor 6:1 KJV)  Dare any of you, having a matter against another, go to law before the unjust, and not before the saints? 2  Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters? 3  Know ye not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life? 4  If then ye have judgments of things pertaining to this life, set them to judge who are least esteemed in the church. 5  I speak to your shame. Is it so, that there is not a wise man among you? no, not one that shall be able to judge between his brethren? 6  But brother goeth to law with brother, and that before the unbelievers. 7  Now therefore there is utterly a fault among you, because ye go to law one with another. Why do ye not rather take wrong? why do ye not rather suffer yourselves to be defrauded? 8  Nay, ye do wrong, and defraud, and that your brethren. 9  Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, 10  Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. 11  And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God. 12  All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.
  
Yes, murder, divorce, adultery, stealing, drunkeness too and lying are all wrong;  All are a sin. John tells us, “Whoever commits sin also commits lawlessness, and sin is lawlessness” (I John 3:4). Sin is the breaking of God’s commands, so, yes, breaking any command of God is sinful. Sin is seprating  oneself from God, into an initial hell and eventually into an eternal hell even by one’s own free will choice as well.  Sins can be repeatedly committed to the point that a person becomes numb to the guilt of violating God’s law. (Prov 21:29 KJV)  A wicked man hardeneth his face: but as for the upright, he directeth his way. (Prov 28:14 KJV)  Happy is the man that feareth alway: but he that hardeneth his heart shall fall into mischief. (Prov 29:1 KJV)  He, that being often reproved hardeneth his neck, shall suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy. (Rom 9:18 KJV)  Therefore hath he mercy on whom he will have mercy, and whom he will he hardeneth.
 
   “Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons, speaking lies in hypocrisy, having their own conscience seared with a hot iron” (I Timothy 4:1-2). A word used for this state is “licentiousness,” which has been briefly defined as being deluded to think that you have a license to sin. A related word, “lasciviousness” is defined as the state where a person doesn’t care what God or man thinks of his actions. Generally these words are applied to sexual sins, but any sin can develop into licentiousness. “For certain persons have crept in unnoticed, those who were long beforehand marked out for this condemnation, ungodly persons who turn the grace of our God into licentiousness and deny our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ” (Jude 4).
 
For true Christian believers a mutually agreed temporary marital separation is also permissible but not a divorce.. why not a divorce.. cause they will do the same wrong things definitely in their next marriage too.
 
(1 Cor 7:10 KJV)  And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:11   But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
 
(1 Cor 7:12 KJV)  But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
 
(1 Cor 7:13 KJV)  And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14  For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
 
(1 Cor 7:15 KJV)  But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
 

 
Contrary to the devil’s and lawyers lies, only the lawyer’s and the courts are those persons who tend to get richer, profit generally from a divorce. On top of that Divorce persons tend to have a shorter life span, and more health problems as well compared to the others.
 
A spouse also tends not to file for divorce unless certain conditions are met..
 
– The think they can get richer by a divorce.. but 2 can live cheaper than one..
– They have a substitute mate in mind, whom they should have consulted first, cause often they have no intention ever of marrying them too..
– The have the false support of their family, mother generally, brother and sister. Even often a false pastor, a false church now too.
– They have adequate cash at hand to pay for the initially lawyer’s fees. you would be surprised how many spouses still keep a hidden bank account from the other spouse, eventually the other spouse finds out and this causes really deep bitterness, anger, resentment, even unforgiveness too.
 
There’s no doubt there are abusive spouses, male and females.. but often one spouses provokes the other one into an abusive response knowingly  beforehand as well..
 
Still there are no real spousal winners in broken home, a broken marriage generally now still too.
 
Both men and women often still are no angels. 
  
Can a true professing Christian now file for divorce? and why do so many Christians still do get divorced?
 
 There is clearly only one legitimate grounds for divorce for all believers, it is when  one an unrepentant spouse had committed adultery and refuses to repent… yes then divorce is mandatory here.. if they repent it is not! 
 
But  as far as unbelievers, we do not have to judge them they have been already judged by God and are going to Hell unless they repent (Rom 2:16 KJV)  In the day when God shall judge the secrets of men by Jesus Christ according to my gospel.
 
(1 Cor 5:12 KJV)  For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within? (1 Cor 5:13 KJV)  But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.
 
(1 Cor 6:1 KJV)  Dare any of you, having a matter against another, go to law before the unjust, and not before the saints? 2  Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters? 3  Know ye not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life? 4  If then ye have judgments of things pertaining to this life, set them to judge who are least esteemed in the church. 5  I speak to your shame. Is it so, that there is not a wise man among you? no, not one that shall be able to judge between his brethren? 6  But brother goeth to law with brother, and that before the unbelievers. 7  Now therefore there is utterly a fault among you, because ye go to law one with another. Why do ye not rather take wrong? why do ye not rather suffer yourselves to be defrauded? 8  Nay, ye do wrong, and defraud, and that your brethren. 9  Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, 10  Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. 11  And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God. 12  All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.
  
Yes, murder, divorce, adultery, stealing, drunkeness too and lying are all wrong;  All are a sin. John tells us, “Whoever commits sin also commits lawlessness, and sin is lawlessness” (I John 3:4). Sin is the breaking of God’s commands, so, yes, breaking any command of God is sinful. Sin is seprating  oneself from God, into an initial hell and eventually into an eternal hell even by one’s own free will choice as well.  Sins can be repeatedly committed to the point that a person becomes numb to the guilt of violating God’s law. (Prov 21:29 KJV)  A wicked man hardeneth his face: but as for the upright, he directeth his way. (Prov 28:14 KJV)  Happy is the man that feareth alway: but he that hardeneth his heart shall fall into mischief. (Prov 29:1 KJV)  He, that being often reproved hardeneth his neck, shall suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy. (Rom 9:18 KJV)  Therefore hath he mercy on whom he will have mercy, and whom he will he hardeneth.
 
   “Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons, speaking lies in hypocrisy, having their own conscience seared with a hot iron” (I Timothy 4:1-2). A word used for this state is “licentiousness,” which has been briefly defined as being deluded to think that you have a license to sin. A related word, “lasciviousness” is defined as the state where a person doesn’t care what God or man thinks of his actions. Generally these words are applied to sexual sins, but any sin can develop into licentiousness. “For certain persons have crept in unnoticed, those who were long beforehand marked out for this condemnation, ungodly persons who turn the grace of our God into licentiousness and deny our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ” (Jude 4).
 
For true Christian believers a mutually agreed temporary marital separation is also permissible but not a divorce.. why not a divorce.. cause they will do the same wrong things definitely in their next marriage too.
 
(1 Cor 7:10 KJV)  And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:11   But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
 
(1 Cor 7:12 KJV)  But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
 
(1 Cor 7:13 KJV)  And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14  For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
 
(1 Cor 7:15 KJV)  But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
 
The Bible says that Adultery is God’s trap, punishment for those whom he is upset at.. and the same Bible says that God does still punishes people even for their sins even if they have been forgiven as a deterrent for them not to sin anymore.

Do see also

 

The too common abusive silent treatment

Is the continual silent treatment, the clear attempt at ignoring you, even  for days or weeks a sign of a mental abuse? Absolutely yes! We all have am equal  right to speak and to be heard now as well. We tend talk to those people we love, and reject, ignore, divorce  those people we hate. No question about it. This type of response is a common and immoral act by selfish, spoiled, self centered persons.  Anything that they now next  can do to upset you, to get you guessing about why too, or to make you think that you have done something  wrong, have   them is their basic approach, motive.  

The silent treatment  it can be damaging to the individual’s emotional health where the victim  report a sense of not belonging, loss of control, lower self-esteem and a feeling of unworthiness.  People with a low self esteem, ostracized females tend to work very hard to win back the good graces of others but most males still do not.  
 
The silent treatment is another  definite, abusive, calculated  form of power control over others and also a pre calculated  mind game that the abuser falsely plays on their victims . Spouses, Teachers, Neighbors, Pastors, bosses also wrongfully play this game. And the victim could be anyone, a spouse, boyfriend or a mother, neighbor. They do want an overly  submissive reaction from you, to bring you under their false bondage,  to firstly still only make themselves feel more powerful and better than you. Now basically isn’t that what they are looking for that big word POWER, Control, Domination. All friendship, relationship, submission too is reciprocal, and unenforced.
 
By openly ignoring you they try to falsely say that you are not important to them or any others or that to them you do not exist!! They falsely devalue you as a person and make you feel less as a person or at least  do try to  so  The abuser IS TRYING TO TO DEGRADE YOU TO FALSELY MAKE HIMSELF/HERSELF FEEL BETTER AND  is NOW ONLY PUSHING THEMSELVES RATHER. THEY ARE THE LOSERS NOW. Your recognition of the problem is 90 percent of the solution here too.
 
Persons who use this approach tend to escalate next to other forms of abuses also to get their way.  If confronted about this, they are exposed, they next often  tend to deny and deny their course of action, aim, to  lie. There here is basically nothing wrong with you, and remember that, you never really do not deserve this kind of treatment from anyone. It IS mental abuse! These bad people do need to find a better way for  their anger management. The adequate response next is to Tell them openly that you are aware they are upset at you, what they are doing you will give them next  5 minutes to talk about it and to get it out out of their system, and then you do not want to hear or see it again. You will go on with your life. Anyway this absue  only works only if you allow them to abuse you. Go on now, next  with your life even without them if you have too.
 

 (Psa 79:5 KJV)  How long, LORD? wilt thou be angry for ever? shall thy jealousy burn like fire?
 
(Psa 80:4 KJV)  O LORD God of hosts, how long wilt thou be angry against the prayer of thy people?
 
(Psa 85:5 KJV)  Wilt thou be angry with us for ever? wilt thou draw out thine anger to all generations?
 
(Jer 9:5 KJV)  And they will deceive every one his neighbour, and will not speak the truth: they have taught their tongue to speak lies, and weary themselves to commit iniquity. 6   Thine habitation is in the midst of deceit; through deceit they refuse to know me, saith the LORD.
 
(Jer 9:8 KJV)  Their tongue is as an arrow shot out; it speaketh deceit: one speaketh peaceably to his neighbour with his mouth, but in heart he layeth his wait.
 
(Jer 9:9 KJV)  Shall I not visit them for these things? saith the LORD: shall not my soul be avenged on such a nation as this?
  
(Eccl 7:9 KJV)  Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.
   
(Jonah 4:4 KJV)  Then said the LORD, Doest thou well to be angry?
 
(Eph 4:26 KJV)  Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
 
(Mal 2:16 KJV)  For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
 
(Eph 4:25 KJV)  Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.
 
(1 John 2:11 KJV)  But he that hateth his brother is in darkness, and walketh in darkness, and knoweth not whither he goeth, because that darkness hath blinded his eyes.     

(1 John 3:15 KJV)  Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him.